Time, my old nemesis, I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve cursed time for running out on me. Yes, yes, I know. If I had done my work way before the deadline and not waited till the last day, I would’ve had better relations with time. But no, it’s not always my fault. I have had my complaints with you, and now I’m just too pissed, so here I am writing a blog instead of doing my work.;)
Time is said to be the continued progress of existence and events, but it’s just so much more than that. Time is never constant. I mean, that’s how it feels because a 45-minute lecture in school seems so much longer than 45 minutes, but the same 45 minutes seem so short when I’m with my friends, having the time of my life.
So, is it only me or time does this deliberately, just to piss me off? My relationship with time has been so confusing because when I want time to pass as quickly as it can, that moron who used to run out on me like Usain Bolt becomes a snail.
Time has to be the worst wingman in history. No, seriously, time has never helped me out. For example, the moment I confessed how I felt to this girl I really liked, this moron, suddenly turned 5 seconds into 30 long hours. But the 30 hours were worth it because, even though I got a yes:), and that’s just something related to my amazing personality and not something time helped me out upon, why would it make me wait so long?!!
Time is the worst; they say that time heals everything; why hasn’t it yet? I know, I may seem like an impatient, immature high schooler right now, but you don’t get the point.
If time is supposed to make you forget the bad moments in your life and heal you, why does it make you forget the happiest moments too? Why can’t it just take the bad memories? Why would time do this to me? Why would time make me forget the last time my grandma and I spent time together, when she was in good condition and all I could worry about was how to not get caught when I sneak into the kitchen to eat another ice cream?
If forgetting all the good and bad memories is the definition of healing over time, maybe I don’t want to be healed. Maybe I’m fine being a little broken, maybe I’m fine being a little damaged, as long as I have the happiest moments of my life and my family, which define me as a person.
At the back of my mind, I know all of this is utter nonsense, because even though time keeps changing every moment, it really is the only constant in every being’s life.
Maybe I’m just mad at myself for growing up so fast and not embracing every opportunity that I had to spend it with my grandma, because now that she’s not here anymore, all I can do is either forget everything sub-consciously over time and embrace the present and the future, or I could hold on to the past, be broken and irrational.